In honor of World Book Day, I offer these suggestions of five books not to read:
5) A Whale of Two Cities: When Charles Dickens’ publisher bought the rights to Herman Melville’s works, they thought they had a sure fire winner in creating a single sequel for two separate books. They were wrong. It’s a blubbering mess.
4) The Remains of the Clay: An English butler finds himself a relic of a bygone era. Adrift in a changing world, he seeks a new outlet for his single-mindedness through sculpting classes at the local community center. When he realizes no one cleans up after themselves he feels compelled to tidy up all the extra clay left laying around.
3) Gone With the Wind Chimes: After Sherman marches through Georgia, one enterprising craftsman capitalizes on the wrack and ruin left behind by using the scraps to create wind chimes. As a swipe at the invading Union forces, every chime is tuned to play Dixie if the wind blows just right. The book ends with Sherman chomping a cigar in frustration.
2) The Old Man and the Sebring: An old man drives a big car in a city of small parking spaces. The smallest is the one in front of his house. This novel chronicles his daily struggle to fit his car into the space. The storytelling is so realistic you’ll want to jump onto the page and park his car for him.
And the number one book to avoid reading on World Book Day is:
1) Harry Potter and the Minivan: This long-awaited sequel follows the adventures of Harry and Ginny Potter as they run errands, take their kids to music lessons and swim practice, and sip their lattes across the street from the mechanic’s shop waiting for them to finish the oil change. Long-time Harry Potter fans now realize why the original series ended before Harry and Ginny and the rest got married and settled down.