Top 5 Pick-Up Lines – Just in Time for Summer Romance, Results Guaranteed!

[From the archives.]

The warm weather is coming and many people are hoping for summer romance. I’ve got just the thing to make your dreams come true with these guaranteed* pick-up lines.

  1. “Baby, the only thing that could top your beautiful body is a toupee.”
  2. “Has anyone ever told you your breath smells delicious … like bacony-goodness delicious?”
  3. “If you tell me your measurements in inches I can convert them to the metric system in my head.”
  4. “My idea of fun is you, me and my parents at an all you can eat buffet. When can you pick us up?”
  5. “Are you a famous director, because I’d like to follow your directions to your house. No seriously, I need directions to your house. To pick you up for a date, of course. What do you mean, ‘What date’? Come on, just give me the directions. OK, OK, no need to go into the women’s restroom; it’s not like I’ve never followed a woman into one you know. Yes, I know what a restraining order is. Why do women always ask me that. Hey, do you think your friend at the bar wants to go out with me?”

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Please share your pick-up lines in the comments. There are a lot of people needing your help with their plans for a summer romance!

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*The fine print: Any guarantees related to use of these guaranteed pick-up lines are nothing more than guarantees that nothing whatsoever is guaranteed.

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13 Responses to Top 5 Pick-Up Lines – Just in Time for Summer Romance, Results Guaranteed!

  1. Jeannie says:

    “Oh baby, I just want to hold you … mmm …… Excuse me, miss, I was talking to my pizza.”

  2. This church’s policy says “no perfect people allowed.” How did you get in the door?

  3. govpappy says:

    “While you’re in the kitchen, can you pick me up a pineapple ale, ma’am?”

  4. Laura Droege says:

    This post is now tagged as “Blogs/cheer-me-ups,” an actual folder I created in my gmail account. Hm, maybe one of my characters could use one of these lines in a novel?!

    • Tim says:

      Your folder title cheers me up, Laura, and the idea you’d want to use one of those lines for a character’s dialog even more so. Yay!

  5. David says:

    Excuseme, do you have a raisin? No? How about a date?

  6. Ruth says:

    Nearly on topic…most matter of fact proposal I can think of. Young couple in a car yard looking at buying a second hand car. ‘When we get married we will need a car like this one’ . I kid you not and I didn’t say anything! I was shocked, and delighted at the beginning of 30 years of married life to a man with a great sense of timing, very funny, and still catching me off-guard. 🙂

    • Tim says:

      That’s a great proposal story, Ruth! I bet you get a lot of mileage out it.

      • Ruth says:

        Tim you are so right, on push bikes, motor bikes, in old cars including dads A model ford, new cars, in a Ford Intercepter 351-an ex cop car, so cool, so huge, loved it! Planes, trains and gigs- horse and gig, and now, electric bike! Loved your pun, had to expand, my life is a cartoon strip written by God who sure has an interesting sense of humour! 🙂

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