A Day in the Life of a Proverbs 31 Husband

Hey Pal!

I know I’ve owed you an email for a while. Sorry about not staying in touch, but life here has been crazy. Just as a for instance, here’s what yesterday was like for me.

9:00 – Got out of bed. I woke up earlier but my wife told me to sleep in because she had everything covered. I have so much confidence in her I just had to roll over and go back to sleep.

9:05 – She brought me breakfast all the way from the kitchen on the other side of the house. And this house is HUGE. I mean, I don’t mean to boast but with the money she brings home from her flax and wool factory she insisted I should enjoy the lifestyle she can afford to give me.

10:00 – I headed to the city park to brag about my wife. Seriously, those other guys think they have good wives but once I start praising mine they just sit and listen in awe.

12:00 – She picked me up from the park after looking at some some real estate she’s got an offer on. I think she said she wants to start a vineyard. I’m not sure, because I leave all the finances to her. But grapes? Wow, maybe we’ll have to start a wine cellar!

12:15 – We arrived at the shelter where she organizes meals for people who have trouble making ends meet. I love being her helper in these projects of hers.

3:00 – She stopped by the kids’ school to pick them up on our way home. I got to listen to her wisdom as she talked to them about their day. She’s so impressive even the kids tell their friends what a great mom they have.

4:00 – She and I go to the gym for a workout before dinner. Pound for pound she’s way stronger than I am!

5:30 – She helps the kids with their homework while fixing dinner. I offered to help in the kitchen, but she just gave me little tasks like moving the newspaper off the dining table. She spoils me!

7:00 – After dinner she had the kids recite their Bible verses for me. I had no idea they’d been memorizing Psalm 119, all 176 verses!

9:00 – She put the kids to bed while I showered. Soon she and I were in bed and … well, Song of Solomon’s got nothing on us, know what I mean?

Hope all is well with you and your family. Let me know what you’ve been up to!

***

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27 Responses to A Day in the Life of a Proverbs 31 Husband

  1. Tim how did you know my story πŸ™‚

  2. Jeannie says:

    Sweet! This is great, Tim! πŸ˜€

  3. Reblogged this on multicolouredsmartypants and commented:
    Another reblog!

    This made me chuckle thinking of what my husband might write about me. I’m the epitome of the long lost Proverbs 47 woman. The rest of Proverbs got stuck down the back of the sofa along with three polo mints and a lottery scratchcard, so people haven’t generally heard of it. Also, of course, there’s the Proverbs 48 man: ‘A husband of goodly manners, who can find? He putteth down the toilet seat and cleaneth out the sink after shaving…’

    I ❀ my husband πŸ˜€

    I don't know why but I'm reminded of a telephone conversation I had with my mother several years ago. I may have shared this story before. Where I come from 'pastor' is pronounced the same as 'pasta'. Also, most church leaders are not 'pastor' but vicar or minister, etc. 'Pastor' is quite unusual. So when I said I had an appointment with the pastor my mother thought I was joking about my lunch, laughed, and told me she'd just had a sandwich. I didn't know why she was talking about sandwiches all of a sudden, but it was clear she was more than a little worried when I said I was going to talk to the 'pasta'…

  4. Anonymous2 says:

    This is wonderful. Thanks for the flip-side of the Proverbs 31 woman. Cute.
    And what about the Proverbs 31 kids?
    That’s your next blog post suggestion.

  5. Laura says:

    I love your unique approach to make a good point! Very creative Tim! I’ve shared on facebook and twitter.

  6. Kathi says:

    My mom still works full-time while my dad has “retired” (yes, in quotes). Since his “retirement” he has been the one cleaning the house. My mom recently bought him a new vacuum cleaner to keep him happy. I told my husband he’s got a lot to look forward to! πŸ™‚

    • Barb says:

      My husband was retired when we married, but I continued to work for well over 10 years. He always had dinner on the table when I walked in the door, and he continues to do that even now. (Yes, it’s wonderful.) But I hear you, Kathi, about your conversation with your mom……I bought my man new kitchen countertops, new stove, micro, disposal, and flooring. I love keeping him happy cooking for me! LOL

  7. Laura Droege says:

    Reblogged this on Laura Droege's blog and commented:
    Funny!

  8. Pastor Bob says:

    A+ for creativity.

  9. Early morning here in Australia and you’ve already given me my biggest smile of the day Tim. Sharing this on Ishshah’s Story F/B page…..it’s only fair πŸ™‚

  10. Ruth says:

    This is hilarious, and so cleverly satirical at the same time. There are some sit-com writers who could use you, big time! Laughed so much at this, then wondered what would a serious complemetarian make of this? Love his wife looking after him, or be miffed that he is not in charge? Personally I think some of them might wish for a change in life style amd let ‘ the little woman’ take over for a bit as you have painted his life in such glowing colours! A++++ πŸ™‚

    • Tim says:

      I think they’d say it ignores the rest of Scripture, and I’d agree. Just as patriarchalists do when they try to limit women in the body of Christ by relying on verses taken out of context.

  11. All I could think (between laughs) was, “This dude is what female characters are like in a lot of books and movies.”

    • Tim says:

      Just what I was going for, Liz, thanks!

      By the way, you might have Nic read it and see if he’d like to adopt that lifestyle. Then gain, let’s not give him any ideas.

  12. Daniel B says:

    I’m not even sure what this is trying to satirize, unless it’s point is to purposefully take Pv 31 out of context to say “look, that whole chapter is bunk!” But since we all (hopefully) know that’s not what Proverbs 31 is saying, and the author seems to not be saying that he disagrees with the whole chapter, it’s a bit confusing.

    • Tim says:

      Each of the things he’s pleased about are things Proverbs 31 says the woman does (except for the reference to Song of Solomon). It’s just a what if type of post, like what if someone were married to a woman who did every single thing listed in that chapter and she never ever failed. It would be like that guy’s life, perhaps. Then again, it might not. We’ll never know, of course, since no wife (or husband, for that matter) has ever lived a perfect Proverbs 31 life without fail.

      • Barb says:

        I’ve heard 2 explanations about the Proverbs 31 wife to try to shed some light on this special woman who must be an organizational and financial genius to accomplish so much for so many people. The first is that these accomplishments represent various stages in her life. She doesn’t do ALL these things ALL the time and every day. But she CAN do, and does, all of these things at various seasons or stages of her life. The second is that the chapter was actually written for men whose job was to praise their wives in sort of a chorus or recitation as a group. Likewise, all of their wives didn’t do all of those tasks every day, but the tasks were representative of what their amazing wives could do, and they recognized and praised them for it. I don’t know if either, or both, explanations are correct…..but it’s nice to think it through.

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