Writing Prompt: If Veggie Tales took on the Song of Solomon

Emily Dixon posted this on Face Book:

Taking it as a writing prompt, here’s how I think the Veggie Tales episode on Leviticus 6:19-23, the anointing of Aaron, might look:

Bob the Tomato (as Moses): Take one ephah of …
Larry the Cucumber (as Aaron): Uh Bob, what’s an ephah?
Bob: It’s a way to measure things. An ephah is about 1.6 kilograms.
Larry: Gotcha.
Bob: Take one ephah of …
Larry: Bob, what’s a kilogram?
Bob: Three and a half pounds. Now can we go on?
Larry: Sure thing, Bob.
Bob: Take one ephah of flour and …
Larry: Wait, I know. Pounds are money in England. You want me to buy three and a half pounds worth of flour?
Bob: …

Then someone on Emily’s post suggested a Veggie Tales on the Song of Solomon. Here’s my take on Song of Solomon 8:2 when Larry, playing the groom, hears what the Woman has to say to her Man about her pomegranate juice:

Larry the Cucumber: Pomegranates? I love pomegranates! Except the little seeds. Those are tough to floss from between my teeth. The juice stains are hard to get out too. Have you ever tried bleach on a cucumber?

What else should get the Veggie Tales treatment? Feel free to provide your own writing prompts and writing efforts in the comments.

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15 Responses to Writing Prompt: If Veggie Tales took on the Song of Solomon

  1. Laura Droege says:

    This made me laugh! No ideas on VT treatments. But it did remind me of Sunday school this past week, when we were discussing which book of the Bible we’d study next. I almost suggested Song of Solomon. I can honestly say I haven’t studied this in a church, mixed-gender class; for some reason, we avoid this book like it’s taboo. I did feel daring, though, and suggested that we do something really unreformed and unpresbyterian and study the book of James.

  2. In my years in Christian Education (writing for Gospel Light and another publisher and being a DCE for four years) I observed that many parts of Scripture are not covered in curriculum for children. In high school these topics come up.

  3. Ahab says:

    A Veggie Tales version of Ezekiel would get weird really fast. “Wait. I’m supposed to eat bread made out of WHAT!?”

    • Tim says:

      I think Job should get the VT treatment. I don’t know who’d play Job, but Pa Grape should certainly be one of the friends who try to counsel Job.

  4. Adriana says:

    And now my association with S of S’s ancient erotic imagery is forever altered. 😛

    • Ahab says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Tim says:

      Larry would have a field day trying to understand SofS 4:1-5:

      Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
      Your hair is like a flock of goats
      descending from the hills of Gilead.

      Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
      coming up from the washing.
      Each has its twin;
      not one of them is alone.

      Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
      your mouth is lovely.
      Your temples behind your veil
      are like the halves of a pomegranate.

      Your neck is like the tower of David,
      built with courses of stone;
      on it hang a thousand shields,
      all of them shields of warriors.

      Your breasts are like two fawns,
      like twin fawns of a gazelle
      that browse among the lilies.

      • Jeannie says:

        – Uhhh…. Bob?
        – Yeah, Larry?
        – My tooth is alone.
        – What?
        – My tooth is alone.
        – What???
        – It says “Each has its twin, not one of them is alone” … right?
        – Yeah …..?
        – I’ve only got one tooth. My tooth is alone.
        – Aw, that’s okay.
        – But … do you think my tooth has a twin out there somewhere? And they just haven’t discovered each other yet?
        – Uh, I don’t think so, Larry.
        – Now I’m sad, Bob. *sniff, sniff*
        – Well — why don’t we move on to the next verse. Hey, listen to this, Larry: “Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon.”
        – Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Bob?
        – I think so, buddy.
        – I LOVE MY LIPS!
        – Now, doesn’t that make you feel better?
        – It sure does, Bob.

  5. Mackenzie says:

    Hi Tim, long time reader/lurker here. Just had to pop in to let you guys know that Phil Vischer, (creator of Veggietales) has tackled Song of Solomon and Job and all the books of the Bible in a new series he has called “What’s in the Bible” with Buck Denver. It is the most theologically sound children’s series I’ve ever seen. 🙂

    Anyhoo, thank you so much for your blog. I’ve learned a from your insight. Keep writing!

    Mackenzie

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