Why I Think God is Pleased with My Gay Relationships

[From the archives.]

I have gay relationships. I have lesbian relationships too. I think God is pleased.

There seem to be quite a few people in my profession who fall into one of the LGBTQQIA categories – lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersexual, asexual. In fact, our professional association created an LGBT Section a few years ago, much like we have sections for people with other common identifiers (such as ethnicity). The opening reception for the LGBT Section was at one of the association’s mid-year conferences a while back, and I was there with Dave, a friend of mine who organized the formation of this new group. He even declared me an auxiliary member, since I was hanging out with him as he greeted the other members. Not that auxiliary membership actually exists, but if it did I’d be a shoe-in.

Why was I there? Because, like I said, Dave’s a friend of mine.

He is one of the people I am closest to, not too far behind my wife in that regard. We call each other up when things are on our minds and we need to talk. In fact, he called last night and my wife and I put him on speaker phone so we could all chat as we made dinner. He’d heard that our daughter’s car got totaled and since she lives 10 minutes from him but 8 hours from us, he offered to loan her his car. Dave and I borrow sweatshirts from each other when it’s cold. He and his husband have dinner with me and my family. Getting together is rarer than we’d like, since we live at opposite ends of the state, but when we do see each other it commences with a hug.

Go ahead and call it an intimate friendship. I do.

I also spend time with other gay and lesbian colleagues from up and down the state. We serve on committees together, make dinner reservations if we’re at the same conferences, and support one another. One of them is even a person I turn to for prayer support at times, as she does me. As I said, I have lesbian and gay relationships and I think God is pleased.

You see, Jesus spent time with people who were on the margins – the woman at the well in John 4, Zacchaeus the tax collector in Luke 19, the woman caught in adultery in John 8,  the woman who used her own hair to wipe her tears from Jesus’ feet in Luke 7, to name a few – and he wasn’t concerned with how it looked to the upright religious leaders around him.

Why do I identify with my lesbian and gay friends? Because I think Jesus would have.

My friends know my faith. It comes up in conversation often. Jesus talked to his friends and acquaintances about God; so do I. In fact, as odd as it may seem, I actually find it easier to do so with these particular friends than with others sometimes.

And let’s face this fact too. Even though my colleagues have reached the pinnacle of their profession, they can still be marginalized at a moment’s notice. Each and every one of them is always a hair’s breadth away from unfair discrimination and downright bullying. Make no mistake about it, it is still dangerous to be homosexual in America.

These are my friends. I like them and find them a pleasure. I think they feel the same about me.

I also love them. I think Jesus does too.

[Jesus said,] “The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10.)

My friends who don’t know Jesus yet aren’t so different from me.

We all need Jesus.

***

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14 Responses to Why I Think God is Pleased with My Gay Relationships

  1. Anonymous says:

    One of my closest gay friends is marrying his partner in June, after 12 years of being together. (That’s longer than my marriage lasted.) He said he was having a party, so I asked him to invite me. I’m an Evangelical leader personally and professionally, and I have friends who will strongly object. But I don’t care. This man has been a good friend to me and helped me with several projects. I think he’s one of the smartest people around. When I’ve done him wrong, he’s forgiven me. His integrity is outstanding, and I can tell his love for his partner is genuine, patient, and caring–very much like my parents’ marriage.

    I wish them the best.

  2. Bill M says:

    I get your point yet I will admit to having a good friend from Nigeria and another fellow that I spent many hours with on the tennis courts but I have not thought of them as my black friend or my gay friend. I doubt that this side of eternity we will ever get away from classifying and it is a note of progress when someone does not need a special classification of friendship whether they be black, gay, female, democrat or Irish, the latter is the only one I reference as such but you need the facial expression and tone of voice to get the right meaning.

    • Tim says:

      I don’t pop the labels on these friendships either, Bill. They’re just friends. I was reminded of this post by a recent Twitter poll that asked: “Would you welcome an openly homosexual couple into your church on Sunday morning.”

      Sadly, some people said no. That’s just nuts. So I decided to re-run the post.

  3. So right, Tim — we’re all just people. We all need Jesus. Jesus came to break down the walls between us and him and us and each other.

  4. What popped into my head as I read this post was, “What would Jesus do?”

    Your friends are people. All of them. I think Jesus would love them. Just like He loves you, and me, and your family. And my family. And the other people in the United States. In fact, in the whole world. (If anyone is unsure of that point, have them reread John 3:16.)

    It DOES NOT MATTER. Jesus loves the WHOLE WORLD. NO exceptions. (Sorry about raising my voice. I thought the situation merited it.)

    Thanks for posting.

  5. Pingback: Half A Birthday List Is Better Than None | Tim's Blog – Just One Train Wreck After Another

  6. sen8orial says:

    I don’t believe God draws lines between his children but his children are hell bent on creating compartments and slotting each in one. It is sad that being who you are is a dangerous affair even in a modern and forward nation like the USA. But what’s more sad and rather revolting is that a lot hasn’t changed in many countries where such relationships are frowned upon and not just by the society but also by the judiciary and the present political dispensation as there is no legal repose when the law itself terms them illegal…… something that’s “deviant” and “against the law of nature” …… How can the judiciary or the executive or any man or organisation for that matter decide what is and what isn’t “against the law of nature” I guess God has no issues against those who are “marginalized” but I’m sure he won’t be too happy with the oppressors and the bullies who marginalize them.

  7. Gwen Acres says:

    Glad to be your ” friend” Tim. When you asked me to be that on FB I did not know who you were, still not sure, but I like what you write. So thanks Tim and I look forward to learning more about you. I don’t go to church anymore. Was raised Baptist. Now I find church in nature, in some close friends and in the Blogs of like minds online. You are now part of my church life. 😇

  8. ZechZav says:

    Thanks Tim for what you wrote here – full of grace as usual. I had my own discomfort challenged at an LGBT meeting once when I met a post-operative transgender woman. She came and said hello to me and she was very gracious, kind, warm and welcoming. I was reminded of the commandment “love thy neighbour as thyself” which meant to treat her like I would expect someone else to treat me. She is not “an abomination” as I once heard John MacArthur say (yes I heard him refer to post-operative transgenders as that). And since I moved away from the “conservative position” I have no problems relating to gay couples either. I treat them like any other couple and they are not doing anyone else any harm. I don’t understand why the church is making so much noise about two consenting adults who have done nothing to hurt them.

    Male to male intercourse was condemned in the context of cult prostitution, violence and exploitation of youths (related to the slave trade by the looks of it). This sort of thing still goes on today among the rich and powerful people (and yes in America and Europe). This has included kidnapping children and sacrificing them to demon gods. I won’t go into specifics here but you can do your own research on that. It is this which the Bible is condemning, I also hate it when Christians refer to gays as “sodomites”. It is far from honest when you look at that account. When the men of Sodom threatened Lot “we will do worse to you”, this indicates that these were heterosexual men motivated by violence and a desire to humiliate strangers by gang rape. It is like “daddys” in prison or child abusers who do it as a punishment. Most modern gays and lesbians would be horrified by that behaviour. I stopped going to evangelical churches because I felt I was a pawn in their crusades and an object of derision and disgust. I felt I was going there to be abused.

    And Christians seldom discuss commandments like “love thy neighbour as thyself” when it comes to “homosexuality”. Instead they harp on about “divine decrees”, “creation orders”, “nature” and “complimentarian gender roles” and use that an excuse to break that commandment and show them contempt.

    • Tim says:

      Zach, I too have seen those other points raised as if they trump the law of royal love to be a neighbor those God has put in their lives.

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