Things Calvinists Say on Valentine’s Day

One of my favorite Twitter hashtags this time of year is #ThingsCalvinistsSayOnValentinesDay. Here’s what I’ve tweeted for Valentine’s Day the past couple of years:

“We aren’t just destined to be together. We’re PRE-destined to be together.”

“If free will existed, I’d choose you.”

“Total depravity doesn’t even begin to describe the way I feel when I’m with you.”

“Atonement may be limited, but my love for you isn’t!”

“God’s grace is irresistible, and so are you!”

“Valentine’s Day – the day our TULIPs should meet!”

“My will might not be free, but my love for you is priceless!”

“Thinking of you reminds me of total depravity. I love that you remind me of sound doctrine.”

“There’s a special place on my face for your TULIPs, baby!”

“Dear Valentine, my love for you isn’t TOTALLY depraved.”

And this last one is what a Calvinist says on Valentine’s Day if they are Marty McFly’s dad*:

“You’re not just my density; you’re my pre-density.”

You can add more in the comments if it’s your pre-destiny to do so.

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Density:

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16 Responses to Things Calvinists Say on Valentine’s Day

  1. deelmo says:

    LOL. I’ve never understand this either.

  2. Marijoy says:

    oh, now this is funny. thanks!

  3. Riley says:

    Anyone can be a valentine…you get to Be My Subordinate!

  4. Kevin Mason says:

    I can’t wait to use these with the wife!

  5. These are so great, Tim!

    “I must be a saint, ’cause I’m gonna persevere until you’re my Valentine!”

  6. Persis says:

    “Here’s my number. Call me. I know it will be effectual.”

  7. My ex actually said it was divinely decreed in eternity past that she and I be together. Not sure how she resolved it when I broke off the engagement!

    • Tim says:

      I can’t count how many times college age friends have related stories of someone coming to them and saying God told them to get married.

  8. So. Are there Smarmynian Valentines greetings? Or did you just not choose any of ’em?

  9. Matt Blaisdell says:

    If I had free will, I would read this blog… oh, wait… I am reading it!

  10. NJ says:

    “Total depravity doesn’t even begin to describe the way I feel when I’m with you.”

    Whoa!! Haha! 50 shades, anyone?

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