Humor: Why Doesn’t Anyone Preach on the Proverbs 31 Husband for Mother’s Day?

[From the archives: A husband’s email for Mother’s Day. Every line corresponds to a portion of Proverbs 31.]

Hey Pal!

I know I’ve owed you an email for a while. Sorry about not staying in touch, but life here has been crazy. Just as a for instance, here’s what yesterday was like for me.

9:00 – Got out of bed. I woke up earlier but my wife told me to sleep in because she had everything covered. I have so much confidence in her I just had to roll over and go back to sleep.

9:05 – She brought me breakfast all the way from the kitchen on the other side of the house. And this house is HUGE. I mean, I don’t mean to boast but with the money she brings home from her flax and wool factory she insisted I should enjoy the lifestyle she can afford to give me.

10:00 – I headed to the city park to brag about my wife. Seriously, those other guys think they have good wives but once I start praising mine they just sit and listen in awe.

12:00 – She picked me up from the park after looking at some some real estate she’s got an offer on. I think she said she wants to start a vineyard. I’m not sure, because I leave all the finances to her. But grapes? Wow, maybe we’ll have to start a wine cellar!

12:15 – We arrived at the shelter where she organizes meals for people who have trouble making ends meet. I love being her helper in these projects of hers.

3:00 – She stopped by the kids’ school to pick them up on our way home. I got to listen to her wisdom as she talked to them about their day. She’s so impressive even the kids tell their friends what a great mom they have.

4:00 – She and I go to the gym for a workout before dinner. Pound for pound she’s way stronger than I am!

5:30 – She helps the kids with their homework while fixing dinner. I offered to help in the kitchen, but she just gave me little tasks like moving the newspaper off the dining table. She spoils me!

7:00 – After dinner she had the kids recite their Bible verses for me. I had no idea they’d been memorizing Psalm 119, all 176 verses!

9:00 – She put the kids to bed while I showered. Soon she and I were in bed and … well, Song of Solomon’s got nothing on us, know what I mean?

Hope all is well with you and your family. Let me know what you’ve been up to!

***

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8 Responses to Humor: Why Doesn’t Anyone Preach on the Proverbs 31 Husband for Mother’s Day?

  1. Donna says:

    Too funny! I remember reading that proverb to my elderly mom a while back and she quipped back “What? The husband just sits at the gate doing nothing while she works all day!” I had to laugh because I hadn’t thought about it that way before…but….mom was right! 😊

  2. Pingback: Weekend Picks ~ 5-12-2017 | Life on the Bridge

  3. S Brady says:

    pure brilliance. gotta admit, gonna be hard to preach on this chapter ever again with a straight face.

  4. That is one awesome woman! 🙂 And awesome post, Tim.

  5. Pastor_Bob says:

    Wonder what his would look like – changed only as needed for Father’s Day… ??

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