Decision-Making in a Marriage Full of Forks in the Road

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it!” – Yogi Berra

Imagine you are going through life and you come to one of life’s forks in the road. If you’re like me, you’ll want to know something about each direction, where they are headed and whether you’d enjoy the path. If you’re like my wife, you’ll want to know where each path leads and which one will get you to where you want to go.

That may look like a subtle difference, but it’s a distinction that can tell you a lot about how the two of us can face the same issues and consider them in very different ways. One thing that’s the same, though, is that each of us is looking at the fork in the road and trying to decide which path to take. When we face the choice together, it might take us a while to talk through the possibilities and understand what each other considers important, but we end up making a decision sooner or later.

And I’ve found that whenever we’ve eventually made the decision – whether soon or late – usually turns out to be the right time for the decision to be made.

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[This post is adapted from the 2013 archives.]

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6 Responses to Decision-Making in a Marriage Full of Forks in the Road

  1. Melody A. says:

    So true as long as both partners ARE talking with and not at and LISTENING to one another. Those are the keys in my mind. Was married 38.5 years before my love left this earth and I know it didn’t always happen as it should have. thank you for writing this. Take care from Iowa

  2. Anonymous Wife says:

    Thanks for this excellent article. My husband and I were both executives — and single for decades. The workplace taught us a lot about problem solving, looking at all angles, determining the facts, feelings and each person/group’s priorities. It has served us well in our marriage. We have never had a “fight,” but we have long complex discussions about what is important and why. And we expect to have these on a regular basis.

  3. Jeannie Prinsen says:

    I think this is so true, Tim. (Far better, in my view, than the “husband makes the final decision” approach, by the way.) I’ve been in situations like this with Richard where we discuss something and conclude, “We’re just not ready to decide yet.” So we talk some more, etc. And when we decide, it just seems like it was the right time, because the process has been right.

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